I connect to everyone differently.  For some people, I am able to connect with them before I even take the call, for others, I will need up to a minute before I am able to connect properly.  For most people, all I need is their question.  For others, I tend to verify what I am seeing before I go on.  Sometimes I will have a brief, 10-second conversation to get a feel for the energy.  With a few people, I may not hit the mark on the first shot, but I will usually get it on the second try–this often has to do with how I have focused.  There are those rare occasions where I simply cannot connect at all.  It happens. 

There are times when the whole situation comes out at once and there are times when I only get bits and pieces of information.  I have chosen to accept that because there may be a reason why I am being presented information in a certain way.

When I do mediumship readings, sometimes I may need up to 2 minutes before I can contact someone on the other side. 

I am not a speed reader.  Basically, I read at the pace spirit gives me the information, so don’t be surprised if there are pauses throughout the reading.  I am getting the information from our guides and spirit and there are times when they will not be completely and instantly forthcoming with information. 

I can’t tell you your life story in 3 minutes.  I would like to be able to do this, but 3 minutes is just enough time for you to ask your question and for me to answer it.  Sometimes I get clients who expect me to give an answer in 1 minute–which is just enough time for me to give a quick yes or no response.  In order to expect a good reading, I will need at least 5 minutes to go in depth with one question or situation.

When I say that some of my gifts may manifest themselves, I mean it.  I cannot control what gifts decide to manifest during my readings.  For one person, all I will get is images, for another, I will get words and voices, for still others all my gifts will manifest.  There are times when someone wants me to look into the future, but for some reason, I am being blocked from telling them that future.  The only gift I seem to be able to have any degree of control over is mediumship.

I read energy and sometimes that energy manifests itself differently.  So, no, I can’t tell you the eye color of your ex-boyfriend “at will,” although I will most likely be able to describe his personality or his traits.   

I can’t see everything.  No matter how many times I am asked a question, I can’t see it all and I am not going to lie and say that I do.  I would rather be completely honest and upfront with you the first time, then have you waste your valuable time and money on something that is simply not true.

I’m highly accurate on the big picture, but when it comes to the fine details, I allow myself some margin of error.  When it comes to the major situation at hand, I am usually right on the money, but if I say the dress someone was wearing at a party was red and it turned out to be blue, I’m not going to consider myself any less accurate if I had generally described the situation and emotions correctly.

Different psychics have different strengths and weaknesses.  I don’t know of many intuitive people who can “do it all”, 24/7.  Although I have been able to do it, I am absolutely terrible at finding lost items, which is why I don’t even mention it in my ad.  My timing as far as exact dates is also shaky–although I am usually able to see time in terms of sequence of events. 

I am a firm believer in free will.  Even if I make a prediction, I always want my clients to know it can take something as simple as waking up 10 minutes too late on the wrong day to alter my predictions.  When I give a prediction, it is due to what is happening in your life and what I am seeing NOW.  If you don’t like what I have said, it is up to you to change it. 

I like direct questions.  Although I can do general readings, I prefer a focus because it gives me a faster way to connect to my clients and their situations.  Again, many times, I know what topic my client wants to cover before they even ask, but the question gives me focus as well as permission to look into their situation.

I can physically feel the difference between asking for clairification and pushing me for answers.  I humbly ask you to keep this in mind when you seek answers from me.  With the former, it usually flows out with ease.  With the latter, I usually end up getting a massive headache and it can literally “shut me down” for minutes, hours or even days at a time after the reading.  So, being honest does not just benefit you, it keeps me mentally, physically, emotionally and psychically alert and in tune.

Testing.  I guess I should talk about this.  In all honesty, I don’t always know if my client is testing me or not–but it seems as though my guides do know and they will prevent me from reading any further by giving me a complete “blank.”  I would hope that anyone who chooses me to read for them is as open and honest with me as I will be with them.  Testing really is just a waste of time and money. 

I am a perfectionist.  Of course, I can talk about how honest I am until the cows come home, but at the heart of the matter, it is my goal to give a complete, honest and accurate reading each and every time I receive a call.  I am a perfectionist because I really do care about my clients and I want to send them away with the right information.  I think nothing is more disheartening to me or any other ethical psychic out there to find out that we told our client the wrong thing, which is why I strive to give each and every client my complete all.

YES.  I USE TAROT.  I don’t think I can emphasize this enough.  While my abilities can and have manifested themselves without tarot, I use tarot in all of my readings to validate information.  All of my ads clearly state that this is how I operate–the title of all my ads and the first line tells people upfront that this is how I convey information.  Sometimes, I shuffle the cards as a way to conentrate and I don’t even do a spread.  Recently, I was given a low score by a couple of individuals because they were unhappy with this, which left me completely puzzled.  If you are seeking a reader who does not use tarot, I am afraid I will probably disappoint you.

Soulmates, psychic abilities and your reading.  Although I write about soulmates in my blog, I never discuss soulmates in my readings.  In my whole time of doing readings, I have only brought it up with three individuals.  The reason why I don’t use the term when doing readings is because I feel it is such a misunderstood and misused term that if I attempted to use the term, many would misinterpret it to mean “your one true love.”  In my opinion, it’s a romantic myth and if some understood exactly how much time and work went into a soulmate relationship, they’d probably end up pulling their hair out before the relationship ever really got to blossoming into what it is supposed to be.  (Not all soulmate relationships are meant to be romantic.)  To be honest, I would rather focus on the elements I can verify, which can be immediate past, current and immediate future relationships.

There are many occasions where I can pick up on the intuitive abilities of others.  While I do believe everyone is intuitive to a certain degree, it is my belief that not all people have the same level of intuitive ability.  I do not discuss intuitive ability with my clients unless it is very strong and relevant to the discussion.

Health questions.  I have to be completely honest, here.  I get incredibly nervous when I am asked about health and ailments.  Although I have been accurate when describing illnesses, general locations of illnesses, accidents and ailments that have caused death, I just don’t like doing it.  While I usually receive this information via clairaudience or claircognizance, I can sometimes feel symthoms clairsentiently.

Reflecting on 2008, I think I’m going to admit to myself that the reason why most of the goals I had set for myself at the beginning of the year did not transpire is not because I didn’t want them to happen badly enough and not because I wasn’t working hard enough, but maybe it’s because the universe felt it was not my time yet for these things to happen.

There were three things I was hoping would be made a reality.  Admittedly, I was running ragged and worn out waiting for them to happen.  I will be the first to admit that I was being a bit hypocritical and asking when, when, when these things would happen.

Now nearing the end of the year, I realized…two of them had already materialized, but I was so wrapped up in old patterns that I had failed to recognize these goals had already transpired.  I asked for a specific sum of money and certain business goals to be achieved and after all the calculations were completed, I realized that I had made my goals within a month after asking for that money.  So, what happened?  My love of clothes and shopping in general happened. 

As for the third issue, well, that has to do with a person.  For some reason, whenever I was told to “let it go,” I would push harder and harder hoping to go against the universe, as well as the other person’s free will, and to speed up events to make what was supposed to happen naturally, happen quicker.  Lesson?  Quicker is not natural.  Period.  As a matter of fact, many times, it can be down right counterproductive, as I now realize I was not ready to deal with this person, anyway.

So, as I reflect on 2008, I look at it as a closed chapter in my life where I (luckily) learned a lot about myself, the universe and how the whole manifestation thing works.  Heading into 2009, I am going to try to manifest again…no, wait.  I’m not going to TRY anything.  I’m just going to go ahead and DO IT.

My process:

1. Ask the universe for what I want and be specific about what it is I want.

2. Change the patterns of behavior that may prevent or delay things from happening.  I feel this is the only way to truly know if I am ready.  I can say and believe I am ready all I want, but if I am doing the same old thing, I’m probably doing myself a great disservice.

3. Act like I already have these things.

4. Sit down and chill out and wait for things to happen.  Maybe even learn to ENJOY the process.  (That’d be a new one for me!)

So, I just got off the phone with a friend of mine and I had yet another epiphany.  There is actually a reason why some predictions come to pass and others do not: manifestation. 

Now, until recently, I was never really one to look at the spiritual mechanics of the way predictions work.  To be perfectly honest, I have always been one to just deliver whatever information I was given without “the other stuff.”  Not that I didn’t find the relevancy in it.  It was more that it would confuse me when I am reading for a client.  Lately, I’ve been doing a bit of digging to find out why certain predictions came to pass and others did not.  While some predictions are based upon a feasible probability, there are still other predictions, no matter how unlikely, that appear to miraculously come to pass.  Both types of predictions are remarkably similar because they both have one thing in common.  They were manifested by the person asking for the reading.

Going back to another blog I had written, I had stated that timing was very difficult for me to predict, especially the further out that prediction is made.  Each choice that is made can either bring you closer in alignment with that goal or further away.  While many people see two or three options, the reality is that there are several options out there and my job is to base the reading on the most likely outcome and I do that by looking at the past, present and the patterns of behavior within those past and present events.

By getting a reading, you can really change an outcome even before you get off the phone with your trusted advisor because the manifestation of predictions has just as much to do with thought as it does with action.  Seriously.  Not only does thought encourage action, it prevents it, as well. 

Isn’t this just a self-fulfilling prophecy?

Well, yes and no.  Part of manifesting and does require you to take action.  You can’t meet “the guy” if you don’t get out of bed.  You can’t get a job without scanning the newspapers or job search websites.  I do not believe we are slaves to circumstance, we are, in fact, the sum total of our choices.  You are the one in control over the outcome, not the advisor.  If you decide you don’t like what the advisor has predicted, it is up to you to take the steps necessary to change the outcome.  Your advisor is there to guide you, not control your actions.

The only exception to this “rule” is when predictions involve other people.  When dealing with predictions, I like to remind people that manifestation to control the free will of another person usually backfires.  You can’t get your lover back if they don’t want to come back.  You can’t expect your lover to become your husband, wife or life partner by the end of the year if they are simply not ready.  You can manifest situations where you are able to meet your lover and you can manifest people into your life. 

What if I am told something won’t happen? 

Don’t throw in the towel on your goal if you are told something won’t happen, since there may be a few reasons why this came through:

1. The person was reading into your fears, rather than what really IS.  An advisor may be picking up negative vibes and perhaps seeing the outcome based on that fear.  If you are aware of the fear that you won’t reach your goal, you have the opportunity to prevent the outcome of the person who read you.

2. The person was reading the situation correctly and they see a negative outcome.  Keep in mind that this is only ONE possible outcome, and depending on how far into the future the prediction is made, there is still a chance that outcome can change.  The outcome can change with a combination of free will, manifestation, divine intervention and divine timing.  No one is 100% accurate on predictions.  As a matter of fact, sometimes getting a reading where you are not shown the desired outcome can give you the opportunity to reassess your current actions and change the patterns that could prevent a desired outcome from happening.

3. The desired outcome is not seen…and it is for the best.  Sometimes hearing that a goal may not be achieved may actually cause you to manifest something better into your life. 

I’m sure I’m missing several other possibilities, but you get the picture.  You can also note the same can happen when an advisor makes a positive prediction. 

How I have chosen to encorporate this into my readings:

One thing I will not do is tell my clients what to do or tell them what choices to make because I feel I am interferring with their freewill.  The only time I will offer advice is when I am asked, and even then I am very clear that it is up to them to decide what they want to do.  When I make predictions, it is my hope that my clients do not take them as “fact,” rather as a guide on a path that is most appropriately matches their goals and/or lessons for spiritual, mental or emotional growth.  When a client tells me that my predictions are accurate, I’d like to remind them that my predictions are accurate because they made them accurate.  My job is merely to show them a direction, it is up to them to choose what they want to do with it.
]]> http://karastarotroom.wordpress.com/2009/01/18/predictions-and-manifestating-are-interrelated/feed/ 0 karastarotroom http://karastarotroom.wordpress.com/2008/12/01/my-thoughts-on-healers/ http://karastarotroom.wordpress.com/2008/12/01/my-thoughts-on-healers/#comments Mon, 01 Dec 2008 14:48:12 +0000 Kara Harris http://karastarotroom.wordpress.com/?p=24 ]]> I was inspired to write this article after the hundreth time of being identified by a fellow colleague as a “healer.”  I never believed in healers.  I thought that faith-healing was…well, for lack of a better term, BS.  I thought that the only way one could heal from any illness, be it physical or mental was to seek proper, modern medical health care. 

During a chat with a fellow psychic colleague, she had brought up that I was a healer.  I guess I had gotten so tired of this label that I decided to meditate on it and explore exactly what that meant.

From my discoveries, I learned that a true healer is the most powerful of all psychics and the most sensitive.  I know I will be stepping on quite a few toes with this one and I will probably be accused of thinking I am “better” that others because of this label.  Trust me.  It’s still not that deep to me, personally, and I am not at the point, yet, where I believe in it to the extent of trying it out.  So let me explain what I mean by my statement.

Psychic Ability and Vibrational Energy Frequencies

All people vibrate on a certain “frequency.”  The strength of that frequency will basically determine how strong your psychic ability is.  This is where I believe that all people have psychic ability, but I do not believe all people have an equal vibrational strength.  The strength of your vibrations is determined by 3 things: genetics, past lives and belief/openness. 

1. Genetics- Normally, if psychic ability is passed down through families, each new generation will generally have a stronger psychic ability than the previous generation. 
2. Past lives- The older the soul, the more likely it is that you will possess psychic ability.  One lifetime is simply not enough to develop a solid connection to spirit because it is so vast.  It is very rare that a soul will be able to develop, utilize and understand the connection in one lifetime.  When the “new life” comes into the world, often when they are ready, they pick up where the previous life left off in its development.
3. Belief/Openness- This is fairly obvious, but if you don’t believe in psychic ability, you’re not going to develop it, period.  There are many people who are walking around with high vibrational energy and they do not realize they are carrying it around.  They think, for example, that the good opportunities in their lives are nothing more than being at the right place at the right time.  The thought would never occur to them that by unconsciously operating at a higher level, they are actually instinctively drawn to opportunities.

If I were to chart out what the abilities of people are based on a number value, it may look a little like this:

1-2 These people have very limited intuitive ability.  They know, for example, that they shouldn’t go dow that dark alley at night or something bad will happen.  This is the most common level of intuitive ability. 

3-4 I’d say that these are more the philosophers.  These people have a hightened level of intuition and psychic ability, whether they are aware of it or not.  I would say that through development and training, these people could move to higher vibrational levels.

5-6 These people tend to have very hightened psychic abilities and are able to connect with other people and spirit very easily.  Some of them are prophets and others are mediums.  With development, they can and often do move on to higher vibrational levels.

7-8 These people are the healers.  Even if their abilities lay dormant for a long period of time, they are able to instantly “pick up where they left off”.  These individuals usually have a multiple combination of abilities that include: clairvoyance, clairaudience, clairsentience, prophecy, mediumship and healing. 

9-10 These individuals are rare and I can only describe them as total-miracle workers.  I would imagine that these people do not stay on earth for very long because they have pretty much learned all of their lessons necessary to work with people on the other side.

(Please note that this chart does not represent “lower energy forms.”  It is only meant to encompass psychic ability in individuals.)

In this case, I am speaking of the constant output of energy.  Some people can have periodic spikes in energy.  For example a person operating at a 1-2 vibrational level who suddenly has a dream they are going to be in a plane crash and avoids taking a doomed flight the next day, taking them up to a 5-6 level.

Healers and How They Function

Healers often have the majority of all psychic abilities and even if their powers lay dormant, they very often develop their abilities rapidly.  Abilities can manifest for a variety of reasons: trauma by far the most common, if they have not been cultivated since childhood.

Healers do not always preform physical healings, but many of them can and do.  Healers do not need tools in order to connect to spirit or others.  They can connect to all life and they only fail at connections by their own choice–or rather the choice of their spirit.  These are the people who can do multiple readings at a time and not feel physically, emotionally or psychically drained.  This is because, while giving and receiving information encompasses a psychic’s capacity, a healer’s ability goes beyond being a messenger and actually is able to change the physical or emotional makeup of another life form–which can be more exhausting than giving a reading.  I have also found that the reason why healers are able to do multiple readings in a day is because they are able to heal themselves from any physical, mental, emotional or psychic illness (or exhaustion) that may have been present at any time during the reading.

Again, I am not saying that just because one is a healer, they are the best.  Let us not forget that healers, as humans, are just as succeptible to error as anyone else.  Just because healers have more individual psychic abilities and operate at higher vibrational levels than other types of psychics, this does not mean they are able to use all their abilities every time for every reading they do. 

Just as with psychics, healers function in different ways.  Some healers are given a certain combination of “talents” to physically heal illnesses.  Others are given different sets of abilities to heal emotional and psychological problems.  Still others are meant to give comfort and calmness to those in need.  Some are given a combination of abilities to help the dying cross over to the next world.

How Healers Relate to Others

When a healer comes into contact with other life, those life forms feel *something* is different about the environment or even about the healer.  This, again, is because healers are giving off energy at high levels. 

I have seen cases where, because healers have a very strong spiritual presence, they are often misunderstood by their psychic colleagues.  Sometimes they intimidate them, especially if other psychics are not familiar with the energy the healer is giving off.  It may be perceived as a threat and immediately they shut themselves down.  On the positive side, there are people, whether they are operating at the psychic levels or at the normal levels who seem to be automatically drawn to healers.  Healers, themselves, may notice that they attract certain types of people within their space.

How Can You Find Out If You Are a Healer

While some healers are lucky enough to intuitively understand their abilities, many times, a healer is not aware of their abilities until they are told.  Personally, I was not aware I was a healer until I was told.  I didn’t believe it until I started getting visions of my hands glowing or lighting up and until I started to see and hear about medical ailments in my readings.  Without telling a psychic friend of mine what I had seen, she had told me my healing abilities were in my hands and that I was a physical healer.  (She is an emotional healer).

WHEN will I get married?

WHEN will my financial situation improve?

WHEN will I be able to get a new job?

When.  This is the word I fear the most in each an every reading I give and I always tell my clients upfront that I suck at timing, so don’t be surprised if I don’t hit the mark.  Although I do admit that I have been accurate on many occasions in the past with timeframes, dates and sequence of events, I always tell my clients not to bank on it.  In this article, I am going to attempt to explain why.

You’re Psychic, Aren’t You?  So You Should Be Able to See My Future!

Okay, so let me get a common misconception about psychics out of the way.  Psychics are not fortune tellers.  Not all psychics have the gift of foresight and many ethical psychics who do have the gift will always let their clients know not to rely on any timeframes given.

A fortune teller simply tells your future.  I am biased when I say this, but I feel most fortune tellers are more entertainers than psychics are.  Psychics work a bit differently.  They tend to pick up past and present situations and many of them (not all, because not all psychics are born with the gift of prophecy) can give a highly-likely future outcome based on what they are picking up.  A psychic basically reads energy and interprets that energy through pictures (clairvoyance), sounds (clairaudience) or feelings (clairsentience).  Often, the energy they are shown vibrates in patterns

Why Don’t Many Psychics Like the Timing Question?

From discussions with other psychics, although I cannot say this is true of all, the most common reasons seem to be those of metaphysics and freewill.  While a client may see just two options, I can see several and that number keeps getting larger, the farther ahead in the future the timeframe is extended.  When I give a timeframe or a date, it is always based on what is happening with the current situation and the current timeframe.  What some clients don’t seem to realize is that the more people involved in a situation, the more difficult it can be to predict because one individual may decide to do something completely diffrent from the future events I was reading on.

Other times, I am simply unable to make a prediction on timing because the individual may be on the verge of making a decision.   I remember one client wanting to know if she and a man she was interested in would have a future together.  She said she was making a decision as to whether or not to go and visit him.  Sadly, I could not see the outcome because she was on the verge of making the choice as to whether or not she would visit him.  She told me that I was “vague” when, in fact, my prediction was intended to be based on the outcome of her decision.  Because my ethics prevent me from making decisions for people, it wasn’t like I could tell her what option she was going to choose.  She had to make the decision, first. 

How do psychics come up with timeframes, timelines and dates?

Many psychics have many different methods.  Some psychics are able to come up with an actual date.  Others may feel or see weather associated with a certain season to come up with a timeframe.  Some actually make a guess based on the road the client is currently headed down.  I use a combination of clairvoyance, intuition and Tarot. 

In the End, Timing Is Really the LEAST Relevant Thing in a Reading.  Really.

I have come to a certain conclusion that timing is usually the least relevant question in many readings.  Usually HOW and WHY is more important than WHEN.  I feel this is about 90% of the reason why my timing can be off.  The issue in some cases isn’t one of timing, rather development and working through other aspects of my client’s concerns.  One of the most common questions I get seems to be a variation of “When will I find true love?”  In many cases, spirit shows me that my client is not emotionally or mentally ready to be in a meaningful long-term relationship because they still haven’t broken the patterns that were contributing to less-than-stellar relationships for them in the first place.  Instead of showing me a when, they ask my client to focus inward prior to seeking out a long-term mate.  I usually get timing with individuals who are on the verge of completing issues and cleaning up their past. 

Basically, I find that when timing is requested on an issue, my client wants to rush events that are not meant to be rushed.  When that happens, the results are never the greatest.

So, if you ask a psychic for timing, just take it with a grain of salt and really examine your situation to see if that timeframe is feasible for ALL parties involved (not just yourself).  Don’t take timing literally, it is only meant to be used as a guide.  Once you start relying on timing, you stop relying on yourself and spirit to guide you on the path to your goal.

Of course, these two styles of reading can cross over.  There are very highly intuitive Tarot readers who use a combination of strict interpretation and their own intuitive ability to translate messages for clients.  There are intuitive who use standard interpretations of Tarot cards because they happen to fit within the context of their readings. 

I have given and received hundreds of Tarot readings.  I regularly consult with a friend who taught me techniques for reading and interpreting images in the Tarot.  I have come to a few conclusions.

1.      Representations of people constantly change and unless a Tarot reader has worked with you fairly regularly or unless they are extremely good at picking up the changes and nuances, they are apt to miss these changes.  I had a reading where an individual constantly came up as either the King of Pentacles or the King of Cups.  Some Tarot readers interpreted these as two different people, when in fact the cards were describing the same person.  The King of Pentacles was the physical description and the King of Cups was his emotional description.  Subsequent readings found that the cards representing this person changed yet again, where he was then represented by the King of Cups and the King of Wands.  Tarot readers, again, misinterpreted this to mean two different people, when, yet again, it was the same person who had undergone some growth in their life and changed the way in which he was represented. 

2.      Great care should be taken when attempting to identify people in a Tarot spread.  I have found that there are times when I am reading for a client and when I am shown an image, that image can represent:

a.       How the individual views the other person.

b.      How the other person views themselves.

c.       How the reader views that person.

d.      How the person appears at present

e.       How the person will appear in the future

f.       How the person was in the past

g.      A physical description

h.      An emotional description

3.      It is possible to do timing with Tarot and I found that the easiest method for timing is “Timing by Aces”.  You can find more information on this at: http://www.bewitchingways.com/tarot/timing.htm.  Simply ask a question such as, “When will I meet my soulmate?” or “When will I find a new job?”  Be sure to be specific about timing.  Other than that, certain Aces can indicate certain time periods. 

Psychics appeal to people of all walks of life because in an instant, a psychic can tell you about the past, present and possible future of yourself or almost anyone else you want to know about (depending on the psychic’s ethics).  Psychic advice appears to be the easy answer to the question, “What am I going to do next?”

I have seen several cases of not only psychic addicts, but psychics who feed the addiction.  Rather than face immediate criticism for telling their clients the whole truth the first time, they prey on their client’s hopes, dreams and fears so that the client returns for services.  This style of counseling hurts the whole psychic community and causes damage to the reputations of all psychic counselors. 

As I have mentioned in a previous article, psychic advice should be treated like cosmetic surgery: use it sparingly to enhance your life.  The purpose of a psychic reading is not to get all the answers and intricate details of your problem, rather psychic readings should be used as a general guide so that you make better choices in your life.  Ideally, a psychic reading functions like psychotherapy, only you spend 30 minutes to an hour identifying past and present patterns of behavior as opposed to 6 months or longer.  You also get the added bonus of a possible future outcome.  Readings are not to be used to spoon feed you your life.  They are not designed to take away control over your life by glimpsing into the future to figure out how you can control and change the outcome to suit your whims rather than what is best for you to grow.

Personally, I don’t like to have too many repeat clients.  I try my best to offer the answers to clients that will help them become more independent, which is why I take so much time for follow-up.  Although I do rattle off my individual psychic abilities on my website, I would say my greatest ability is one to recognize patterns in a person’s behavior that contributes to their present situations.  At the same time, I do recognize that there are some times when long-term discussions are required to sort out overly-complex issues. 

Tips on How to Reduce Psychic Dependence

1.      First and foremost, recognize whether or not you are dealing with a fraud.  Some of the quick signs you are dealing with a fraud are:

a.       They are unable to tell you anything about your past or present situation without you spoon-feeding them.

b.      They are unable to elaborate on a situation if you ask them direct or directed questions.

c.       They offer paid prayer or healing services or they offer these services when predictions fall through.

d.      They are just giving you advice based on what you are telling them and/or they are unrealistically optimistic about your situation.

e.       They give prediction after prediction that never comes to pass to try and get you to return to them.

f.       They may or may not give scripted readings.  Readings often sound very similar when compared to past readings or readings given to other individuals.

g.      They often suggest that you return to them for services (healings, etc.).

2.      When you have found a psychic who is reliable and trustworthy, stick with them.  If their predictions and descriptions of events have been mostly accurate, try to avoid the “confirmation trap” where you are calling 10 different psychics to verify what your trusted advisor has told you.  Even if all 10 people are truly psychic, they may have differing opinions about your situation, may not be as in tuned to you as your psychic is or have different guides or interpretations of images guiding them, thus giving a different perspective on what you should do.  If your regular psychic is giving you advice that you follow, and the outcome has for the most part been good, unless that psychic is retiring, there is really no need to change.  What I have found, more often than not, is that the problems arise when a client seeks confirmation from a person who is fraudulent. 

3.      If your psychic hasn’t already, discuss acceptable boundaries for communication.  A truly ethical psychic will be completely open and receptive to your needs to reduce the time you spend with him/her.  If they have noticed increased patterns in your contact, they will more than likely approach you.

4.      Recognize if you have an addictive personality and receive treatment for it.  Although I do not advocate exchanging one addiction for another, it would be a good start to find a trusted individual who will not judge you for your addiction and who will help to break the cycle.  Often, psychic addicts do not come forward with their problem because they are afraid to admit they see psychics in the first place.  They are afraid of what their peers may think.  Understand that this is a very real addiction and one that costs up to tens of thousands of dollars for some individuals, annually.  It often has nothing to do with seeing psychics—this is just the outcome of an underlying issue that needs to be resolved.  Those issues can range to low self-esteem, grief and loss, or any other issue in which a psychic may or may not be able to help with. 

Pet Peeves about the Psychic Business

1. People who work in the business giving “psychic advice” who aren’t really psychic.

These people are beginning to drive me a little crazy.  In my research, I have found people who have quite a following with hundreds and even thousands of clients, but they are only giving practical advice.  They give their OPINIONS based on what their clients are telling them about their situation.  They throw out estimated timelines for fun, and to their credit, they may or may not hit those dates by sheer luck.  I just wonder why these people can’t be honest about who they are and why clients can’t see what these people are doing.

Some of these people will prepare scripted responses.  They don’t even bother to tailor those scripts to each individual.  If they want to be lazy, at least don’t make it painfully obvious they are doing so.

2. Psychics and “psychics” who refuse to read for other psychics.

Okay, for real.  What are these people afraid of?  Criticism?  Or are they afraid that a real psychic will be able to tell if they are using their psychic ability or not?  Either way, psychics need help, too, because we can’t always read our own situations without bias.

Not too long ago, I attempted to get a reading from a reputable psychic concerning a certain area in my life I was getting a very hard time getting a “lock on” by myself.  This person was immediately suspicious of my intentions, wanted to find out if I was going to leave her a negative comment if I didn’t like what she had to say, was overly critical of my writing style (it was through a chat system), proceeded to tell me a story about how she and other psychics were harrassed by a psychic who didn’t like what she heard, claimed I was withholding information and left the session.  I would say that this is the wrong way to treat any potential client.  Actually, that was probably a sign to stay away from this person and her negativity.

3. Psychics who second-guess themselves when predictions look like they will fall through.

I had two friends who were psychic predict a major event for me.  One of them had told me specific information about this event a little over a year before it started to happen.  Even though her timelines are off, things have unfolded exactly as she had predicted.  She never wavered from what she was seeing.  The other friend corroborated the first friend’s predictions with the same details. 

For the heck of it, I thought I’d get a third opinion.  During the first session, his information seemed to be very similar to what my friends had told me.  The second and third times, not only did his predictions change, but the final nail in the coffin before I called it quits was when he gave me astrological explanations as to why things didn’t pan out. 

(Gee, and I must say, I can sometimes be my own pet peeve: people who have trusted psychics already, yet want to get several confirmations of what was previously stated.)

4. Clients who do not take responsibility for their situations.

Yes.  This bothers me.  My ethics and business policies focus on self-reliance and I always state that even though it would be great to have repeat clientele, I don’t want it because depending on me for their next move not only takes away from their own power to live their lives, but it’s an incredible responsibility on me.  I am not a perfectly accurate reader and I admit that to everyone.  I don’t want to be perfectly accurate because it is absolutely no fun to see that your life has been written out for you and you no longer have that joy of a little mystery every now and then. 

What also bothers me is that there are clients out there who may get upset because a psychic’s predictions were either inaccurate or the psychic told them specifically that free will could change the outcome.  Psychic readings should be treated like cosmetic surgery.  Use them a little at a time to enhance your life.  

I believe in free will as well as set destiny.  When I do a reading and give a prediction, it is based on the current actions of all parties involved.  So, even if I see a job offer coming through in the next month, if the interviewer decides two weeks prior to the prediction date that what he ate for lunch put him off and he felt like taking it out you and your resume, then guess what happens to my prediction about the job?  And this leads me to reiterate that NO I cannot see everything, and I was not meant to, either.

5. Clients who believe I am super-human and have the fate of their life in my hands or expect me to remember every detail of a past conversation.

Really.  I am just a normal human being.  I just so happen to read the energies of other people, whether they are in this world or the next.  Once I had a client ask me what her soulmate would be like.  I proceeded to describe him and his personality.  She then told me that she wasn’t satisfied with that description, as if she were ordering from a menu at her local restaurant.  It’s not “me” that is choosing the partner.  My only role in this case was to show her the message I was receiving.  I don’t choose the fate of others.  I merely show the road they are headed based on their present actions.

Likewise, there are some clients who question my authenticity by expecting me to remember information from previous conversations.  I will say that I do remember previous conversations sometimes, but for the most part I try my hardest not to.  As an empath, it’s just no fun walking around with the emotional histories of hundreds of people.

It seems as though, now more than ever, people are finding their soulmates.  It also seems as though people are finding that they have more than one soulmate they could potentially spend the rest of their lives with…or is that really the case?

The (fictional) story:

It was predicted to Mary-Anne that she would meet her soulmate.  The prediction said that she would meet him at her workplace and that she would not recognize who he was upon first meeting.  She was given a physical description of the man and was told of his social, financial and emotional history.

She was told that she would meet her soulmate in six months.  He never came. 

Mary-Anne, having intuitive abilities herself, decided to do a tarot spread to find out where her soulmate was and what she needed to know about him in order to make the relationship work.  Having very little confidence in her own abilities, she decided to consult with a friend whose psychic abilities were more developed than hers were.  The friend confirmed 98% of the story. 

Two months passed, and although she advanced in her career somewhat, she did not notice her “someone special.”  Low and behold, she happened upon a man she thought was very attractive and had a great personality.  She wasn’t thinking about the soulmate prediction at the time, but she couldn’t help but to feel somewhat strange about this man.  Underconfident, she figured he would never be interested in her and she would never meet “the one.”

Disenchanted, she decided to visit another psychic, whom she did not know.  This psychic told her that she had two soulmates.  One she would meet at work and would not be ready for a relationship for a while and another she would meet with friends, who was successful and ready for a relationship.  The man she met at work was the one who was not ready.  The stable one, she had not yet met.

Mary-Anne was confused.  Jason, the co-worker she had met, seemed to “feel right” to her.  Yet, Nathan, the man she had not met yet, seemed like the safer bet. 

Which one should Mary-Anne choose?  Well, Mary-Anne did not know for sure if both were her true soulmates or if she was supposed to choose just one.  While from the outside, it seemed as though the universe blessed her with twice the love, Mary-Anne became afraid and depressed–what if she made the wrong choice?

Okay, Really, So Which One Should She Choose?

When it comes to making choices, I personally do not like to be asked by my clients or friends what road should be taken.  When it comes to situations like this, which are rare, it becomes an oversimplification of a situation to simply ask “which one?” 

The choice is very easy for Mary-Anne, because it appears as though she has already made her choice.  The problem here is that she needs to figure out the lesson she is supposed to be learning from this choice. 

Judging by this story, one important lesson Mary-Anne needs to learn is one of patience.  Just because a psychic gives a timeframe, it does not automatically mean that said event will happen when the psychic says it will.  Mary-Anne also needs to learn that she needs to trust her instincts and her psychic abilities.  Mary-Anne had predicted for herself who her soulmate was, already.  Yet, she refused to believe in her own message.  Mary-Anne needs to understand that even if she does have two soulmates, both of which could be the correct choice, she has to understand that her soulmates probably don’t know who they are to her and they need their own time in which to even start a relationship with her. 

In my research about soulmates, the path to “together forever” is rarely an easy one because soulmates are more than romantic partners–they learn and grow in a complete and whole sense.  The road may be a difficult one to travel, but it is a natural road in which both partners automatically travel down.  Although the “safer bet” would offer a certain degree of happiness, “safe” does not always guarantee “growth.”  The “growth” must also be on an equal footing.  If there is nothing for Jason or Nathan to gain from Mary-Anne, then in all likelihood, they are not soulmates at all. 

If Nathan is stable, but Jason is the true soulmate, then there is a high possibility Nathan is showing Mary-Anne a lesson of not being tempted by the ease of a situation and to really understand what it is she wants out of a relationship.  On the other hand, if Jason is slow to draw and more adventurous, but Nathan is the true soulmate, then there is a high possibility that Jason is showing Mary-Anne a lesson of not wasting time on a relationship that will not go anywhere and to go with the relationship promising abundance.

Again, which one should Mary-Anne choose?  Well, my simple answer is: Mary-Anne will never be able to choose which one is the one she is supposed to be with in this lifetime, on her own.  The soulmate intended for her in this lifetime must also step forward.

In my observations, research and experience, I have come to understand soulmates as being not just one person, but a group of people who come into your life to teach you a certain lesson or group of lessons.  Doesn’t help, much does it?

In my life, I have discovered several types of soulmates that have come into my life.

Family soulmate: these are people who usually reincarnate with you to be a member of your family.  In one life, they may have been your mother and now they are your son (souls don’t have a sex).  You may feel more attracted to this person than other members of your family, because you know them on a deeper level than other relatives.

Romantic soulmate: in my personal belief, there is perhaps only one of these.  The romantic soulmate really shares the same soul as you do.  This is the person you were meant to be with over the long term.

Mirror soulmate: I can’t say how common these soulmates are, but they are brought into our lives to show us everything we are not and to learn from that.  There is one case that comes to mind where there were two people who were in each other’s lives but were completely the opposite of each other.  One was college educated, the other dropped out.  One was fairly successful in their work, the other couldn’t find a job.  One was well-travelled, the other never wanted to leave home.  It was not coincidence or an unlucky draw of the cards that brought them together.  There was a purpose.

The Teacher Soulmate: The teacher can come into our lives at any moment and they are there to teach us a very important lesson.  Not every teacher soulmate is going to come with kindness.  Some teachers, in their human form, can be quite hurtful, but it is up to us to recognize the lesson in their words and actions. 

There was a man I once thought I truly cared for who didn’t reciprocate…as a matter of fact, he was a down right mean person.  After this messed up relationship (or whatever the arrangement was) had ended, I suddenly began to realize my self-worth and vowed that I would never again let another person treat me the way he did.  These days, I reflect on that situation and realize that he was a teacher soulmate who taught me what I needed, wanted and deserved in a man and how to recognize and handle myself around my real soulmate. 

New soulmates: The people with whom you are sharing an earthly lifetime with for the first or second time.  I’d say this covers just about everyone else you may meet but not have a strong connection to.

 How Can You Meet Your Soulmate?

In my experience, I have come to these realizations:

You can’t plan a soulmate relationship.  No matter how many details a psychic tells you, you will never have all of the information and even if you did, right on up to the time you are destined to meet “the one”, the universe will find a way to knock you off balance just enough so that there is an element of surprise.  You have to also understand that even if the psychic accurately predicts a soulmate relationship down to the timing, either you or your soulmate may not be ready to acknowledge this.  You also must be very careful about how you proceed with this type of information and make sure that you are truly feeling the connection.  How strange it would be to finally meet your soulmate, start a relationship and get married only to realize that you really don’t have any feelings for them…yet. 

If it is destined to happen, soulmates will not miss their chance to meet.  Sometimes people tell me they are worried that they won’t recognize their soulmate or that they may have already met “the one” and missed the chance to make things happen.  Of course, there are always other things at work, but two immediate reasons for “missing the chance” to meet a soulmate are that the person wasn’t your soulmate in the first place or you were not meant to come together in this lifetime, for whatever reason.  If you are truly destined to meet your soulmate in this lifetime, the universe will invariably create a multitude of situations for you and your soulmate to get together and stay together.  It is your job to recognize the signs.  Do you wonder why you keep running into the same person over and over again?  Do you feel as though you have met this person before?  Do you feel a compelling need to get to know this person more?  Well, congratulations!  There is a good chance that you have met the person you were supposed to be with. 

Relax and be yourself.  I know.  This is cliche, but it is so true.  Another thing that often prevents soulmates from coming together is that their “humanness” gets in the way.  They want to be prettier, smarter, richer or cooler than what they think they already are.  Trust me: when you find your soulmate, it will be a small factor in determining whether or not he or she is “the one.”  If you keep repeatedly meeting this person, it would probably be a good idea, next time, to get some sort of communication happening.

For Goodness Sake TALK TO THEM!  Take every opportunity you can to get to know this person.  Remember that our “humanness” gets in the way of what our souls and what the universe wants for us.  If you are feeling this person, even if they may not be “the one”, they were most likely put into your life for a reason.  It can’t hurt to figure out what that reason is.

Stay Positive!  Again, this is a very cliche conclusion…to a very cliche article, but if you have ever heard of the power of positive thought, it’s completely true.  Positive energy draws positive energy.  It’s the way of the universe.  Keep yourself busy and occupied and don’t think about how you DON’T have a soulmate or how you HAVEN’T met them yet.  The universe will only delay your meeting them or even your progress in developing something deep with said soulmate because you’d still need to learn the lesson of TRUE positivity and patience.  I don’t mean saying you are positive and patient, I mean actually BEING these things.